Family

Why do we need families?
What value is there in building a "traditional" family?
What do I have to do to have a "happy" family?
What happens to family ties when one of us dies?

I think these are questions that have burned in the hearts of people everywhere since the beginning of time. 

Family, when done right, uniquely meets our deep-seated need to have someone to love, to be loved ourselves, to feel like we belong somewhere in the world.

When we have done the work it takes to have the right kind of family, we can't help but want to hold on to that sense of love, belonging, and camaraderie forever. When we're honest with ourselves, we recognize there's something inside of us that can't fathom the thought of that kind of love ever ending - not even when we die.


Why Would I Want My Family to be Eternal?

One night while I was serving as a missionary, my companion and I were proselyting in a neighborhood where there were some people sitting out in lawn chairs. We approached them and began talking to them about eternal families - how families can be together forever. One man responded by asking, "Why would I want my family to be eternal?"

His answer caught me off guard, and I asked him what he meant. He told me of growing up with parents who had abused or neglected him as a child - parents from whom he had been estranged. He told me of the arguing and distrust in his own family, of his wife and children with whom he did not get along. He had a valid point. Why would anyone want that to be eternal?

I responded by telling him that, not only has our Heavenly Father provided ordinances to make it so families can be together forever, He has taught us how to be the kind of family that wants to be together forever!

I told him about the family I had grown up in. I told him of the countless evenings we had spent together on Monday nights, in observing an LDS tradition we like to call "Family Home Evening". I told him about the many family vacations and outings we went on. I told him how hard it had been to say goodbye to them when I left on my mission, of how very much I looked forward to seeing them again on my return home. He looked at me in disbelief, saying it sounded like a fairytale. I could see in his eyes that he wanted to believe me.

That is the kind of family I grew up in, and it's the kind of family I have now, with my wife and children. Sure, we're not perfect. We sometimes get impatient with each other, and we have our occasional arguments. But we get past them, and we get back to loving and looking out for each other.


The Lord Has Shown Me How I Can

Through His prophets and apostles, and through my parents, the Lord has given me the tools I need to raise and be a part of a happy, loving family that will last into eternity. He has taught me sure principles and given me temple ordinances to make it so that even if one or all of us dies, we'll continue to be father and son, mother and daughter, husband and wife, forever and ever - no matter what. Death may separate us for a time, but I rejoice in knowing that eventually we will be reunited, never to part ways again. (See  Genesis 25:8, Genesis 35:29, Genesis 49:33)


Tools

To give you a short list, some of the tools the Lord has given me are:

1. Love is a decision you make and live by every day - whether you "feel like it" or not! (1 Corinthians 7:3)
2. If you want someone to love you, you have to love them  - it's the Golden Rule! (Matthew 7:12, Luke 6:31, 3 Nephi 14:12 )
3. Sacrifice may not be very romantic, but love takes sacrifice, and love is romantic! So wash a dish! Make a run to the store without complaint! You'll be surprised at the difference it makes! (Matthew 10:39)
4. The right order of priorities: Heavenly Father first, then spouse, then children, then work, then Church, then fun. Of course, the priority you address at any given moment changes with needs and circumstances, and everyone in the family has to take turns "being the most important", but this is the pattern for the general order of priorities. 
5. Loyalty means being on each other's side, even when you disagree.
6. Respect is a two-way street that starts with me. Men are from Earth; Women are.. from Earth!
7. Fidelity not only prevents damage to your marriage, but increases your dependency on each other - for everything! Be there for each other, in everything! (1 Corinthians 7:4)
8. Husband and wife have to manage money wisely - together! (Haggai 1:5-6)
9. Spend time together - as husband and wife alone, and as a family. Make a point of enjoying each other! (Ecclesiastes 9:9)
10. Show that you remember - forgetting birthdays and special occasions hurts, but remembering adds to your relationship. (1 Corinthians 7:3)

  Perhaps the biggest, most powerful tool the Lord has given me is the knowledge that my family is more important than anything that can threaten its safety or happiness. My wife is more important that anything that might come between us. My children are more important than anything that could get in the way. My family is more important than my pride, more important than being right, more important than anything else I might "rather" do instead. (Matthew 19:5-6) Once we decide to feel that way, we can't help but act like it, and that's what makes your family something you can't fathom ever letting come to an end.

There are many more tools available through personal scripture study and church attendance.


Ordinances

The Lord has restored temple ordinances that make it possible for families to be together in heaven.  He has made it possible for husband and wife to be "sealed" - married - for time and all eternity. This is the major reason why Mormons insist on marrying within the faith and in the temple. Not only that, but it is also possible for parents to be sealed to children, so those relationships can continue forever. If parents are sealed to children down through the generations, it follows that your grandparents will always be your grandparents, and your grandchildren will always be your grandchildren, and so on.

The ordinances of the temple are available to any family that is willing to do what it takes to receive them. Do you want an eternal family? You will need to be baptized and have an opportunity to prepare for the day when you will go to the temple for the first time. 

Through the resurrected prophet Elijah, the Lord has also given us a way to vicariously perform temple ordinances in behalf of those who have passed on. (Malachi 4:5-6, Doctrine & Covenants 138:30-35, Doctrine and Covenants 110:13-16) Have you lost a parent, a sibling - maybe a child - in death? If you receive your ordinances, you can have the work done for them to receive theirs, and you can still be a forever family - for time and all eternity, as we Mormons like to say.

Mariah's video entry in the Ruth Institute "Reel Love" challenge
The Mele Family gets media attention for being a family

A Tribute to My Grandpa Bernie

Learn More about the LDS Church

Meet with Mormon Missionaries 
Come to Church with Us